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Showing posts from 2015

Letter from an aggrieved 'Number System' to Delhi CM

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Dear sir,
Notwithstanding the fact that we rate your hard hitting decision to reduce the number of vehicles polluting  Delhi's atmosphere as marvellous ,  our Union of  Number System strongly disapproves with the rule behind rationing.
Bearing a legacy of famed mathematicians like Bhaskara , Aryabhatta , and Ramanujam isn't it undignified to employ simple elementary mathematics of odd and even to frame a rule which will affect the psyche of masses in general. Your rule, my dear,  has ignored the basic principle of mathematics : the difficult, the better.
The simplicity of identifying odd and even has sucked the breath out of your fellow protest groups, who were so longing to hug the deserted Jantar Mantar had you offered a more difficult proposition to Delhiwales . Infact, your transition from a coughing krantikari to a pondering adhikari has caught every ready-to-agitate soul unarmed.
But real world apart, the world of mathematics is under a severe trauma since you colluded with…

India is Cinema, Cinema is India

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I had a dream. No wait!. Not the one like Sir Martin Luther King. It’s a simple one, the one we are more accustomed to in our ordinary lives. Its ordinariness makes me shy to share it with you.  But then  Sheikh Peer has rightly said “Whats in a Shame?”. Or is it 'Shakespeare' and 'name'? whatever, let it be 'shame' for a while. So my dream goes like ; From the Ramparts of Red Fort I saw our Prime Minister addressing to the nation on the eve of auspicious release of Dilwale and Bajirao Mastani.  He  asked the  Shahrukh Sevaks and Ranveer Sena to maintain peace and harmony on this festive day . He also pleaded with the Whatsapp users to not spread rumors regarding Dilwale's story being leaked and warned them of falling in trap of negative publicity of SRK. Rather he suggested every cinezen to become a Dil Wale and support King Khan in his desperate days. Or they should carry packets of Bhaji inside theatre to watch Bhaji Lao Mastani.  
Someone in the crowd …

The Islam I Know

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I have no idea about various versions of Islam being  propagated across the world. The repeated news debates over Islam has repeatedly failed to make sense to me. Their Urduish accents  are no better than Italian movies without subtitle.  One of the demerits of 32 inch HD LED TV is that the frowning news anchor seems like your father threatening you to score a hundred out of hundred in Mathematics. They may jump out of screen and slap you red next time if you don't heed to them Their debates have made Islam so complex that the complex differential equations involving omegas,iotas, sigmas, gammas and with respect other ammas seems more rudimentary to me.
I have also no idea of what others conceive about people who follow Islam and its practices. Let me break a breaking news to you all.  The followers of Islam are from the very earth we all link our origin to. Well,  you don’t need an assurance from me after all . They are as simple as people of any other religion for whom religi…

Why on Earth are you not Married?

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My brother’s marriage is scheduled for the last  week of November. Delighted? Well,  I don’t intend to invite anyone. But I will try to inform everyone. Yes!. Everyone from mychacheri chachi’seldest daughter in law  to the Fuferi BuaI have never seen. From thegaanv waleTaujito my lesser known cousins sprinkled all over India. From the friends who have preserved their ‘likes’ and  ‘comments’ like treasures on  facebook to the ones who have mindlessly but loyally  liked all the shi*****  I post. (Extra stars is just to bemuse you, consider the first word knocking the mind as correct!)
Our social norm expects us to blast such news to all. So what better way than on a social networking site. You may like, comment or share in hundreds. So that even a remotely located tech-savvy kid of Jagada tribe of Africa knows that one elder brother of one hapless person in some place called India is finally about to get married. Let there be prayers in churches ,offerings in temples, nazranas in masjids…

Harry Potter and The Battle of Bihar

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Harry Potter and The Battle of Bihar

Bihar has successfully weathered the month long slugfest festival enjoyed thoroughly by  the insatiable media. During the same time I bumped across a news about “Harry Potter and the cursed child”,  a play revolving around the Potter story 19 years later where it left, scheduled to open at London Theatre in July 2016. Within seconds the Potter mania engulfed my consciousness and I relived the decade long symbolic association with the wizard as if time travelling in Hermoines’s Time Turner in the  Prisoner of Azkaban. But the ever monotonous news updates about Bihar elections unwittingly  hooked me to the present.

I tried again to peek into the Hogwarts school and found myself surrounded by muggles all across from Bihar. Muggles from Munger to Darbhanga, Muggles of all castes and religion. I found the wizarding atmosphere full of political colours. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff houses were now owned by various political parties ho…
Diwali ka Diwala
This Diwali make your smartphone shop for you right from the luxury of your home. Or this Diwali go out and shop your heart full on new hero bike. This Diwali just donty shop for you but for your entire family. This Diwali paint your home bright with Asian Paints. This Diwali go broke, bankrupt, get ruined and stay impoverished everafter. Deepika padukone in Tanishq ad rightly says that for past many years Diwali in her home has not changed. She always gets a jewellery fromm his father. And in the end just as if that would not be enough her mother also has a jewellery which we surely know fromm her expression that it is new. Sure way to get the Diwala out of your father. Or paint your home not with ordinary distemper or chuna, dig deep into your pocket and have your house painted with nerolac paint or Nerolac ki raunak as asked by Shahrukh khan. Aur is Diwali khushiyan lle chalo, Cadbury celebrations le chalo. Larger the packet larger the khushiyan lesser the number …

Letter From Ravana to Ram

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Dear Ram,

Hope you had a wonderful and bombastic 4015th Vijaydashmi celebrations. Or was it 4019th? Having been burnt every year so religiously that I have certainly lost the count of years since we engaged in the battle in Lanka. That was long time ago and together we five have stood the test of time. Yes I am counting in Meghnad , Kumbhakarna and Laxman too . You and your faith are still vibrant while me and the evils, I am said to resemble, still exist. That puts us in stalemate mate!
I really wish that we should have signed a peace accord then or Vibhishna could successfully play a role of mediator rather than enacting like a presstitute as your media does now.

Well who cares for peace, it is all fun that people seek whether watching the Ramlila or clapping while I am lynched…..Oh! did I say that. Sorry, I meant burnt. A slip of thought and my tongue dear. That L word is quite a buzz now a days here in your media that it is giving a tough competition to the more common f word. f …

My take on Income Tax return

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Its pleasure to file your IT return on the last day. Its valour to defy their repeated reminders through messages and emails. When you delete those messages, when you ignore those emails consider it as your bold declaration of war against a gamut of IT officials who have ruthlessly seized your hard earned money in form of taxes. But I sort of take extreme care and diligence to file it not on the last day but in the last hour, preferably in the last minute. I want to keep the IT officials pondering till the last minute of the time i have. Its ecstacy to feel that the guy who has deducted almost a month of my salary as income tax is sitting in anticipation on the other side of network biting the last nails he has.Wheteher I will or I’ll not.That may sound weird .But i seek satisfaction in thinking so. The act of filing an IT return is not due compliance but my vengeance towards the IT deptt.When W.H Auden wrote that “ those to whom evil is done do evil in return” I consider he meant an …

The Parliamentary Entertainment:Last day of Monsoon session 2015

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Would have wished to be in parliament today
Not that I am a connoisseur of political debates. But be it movies or parliamentary debates entertainment is all I seek. Entertainment is all it was. The last day of monsoon session was never the less than an epic potboiler.

Mallikarjun Kharge tried to inspire like the king of Spartans.He knew the numbers are few but the territory has to be defended.He spoke valiantly.He charged audaciously. HIs courage never faltered him, only his accent did.
So he fired the 7 Questions or the 7-Qs towards towards the government benches.This when the master orator was absent from the battle field. Only he has engineered 5-Ds,3-Ts,6-Ss
etc more succesfully earlier. He has churned out such words from his word processor more faster than can fruit juice by a food processor.

I am afraid someday he may claim that 26 alphabets and 1 to 10 digits are his creation during BJP rule, leaving 0 for Aryabhatta. Sushma Swaraj resembled a wounded tigress which waited patien…

Indian Railway and Job Satisfaction

Completed 1.5 yrs as Asst Div Engg and also full probation period with Indian Railways. Being a part of a system that has shouldered the expectations of an entire population for more than 160 years feels great. I have seen  people sacrificing their lives or suffering irreparable injury while performing their duty to keep the route safe for trains. The selfless devotion of  people towards the sytem is commendable. People whose single pursuit is to keep the wheel rolling and the giant moving. For me the Moto of Indian Railways is “Keep Moving’. No matter what  just keep moving . For this giant machinery has not learnt to stop even in harsh circumstance or an extreme climate. And the fraternity of railwaymen ensures that it serves its only purpose day in and day out safely and promisingly to connect people across region. This is not an ordinary organization. This orgnzn has carried all generations successfully ,literally and physically. For the past 160 years it has catered to all demand…

My Woeful Salary and Indias' Budget 2015

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How can you give 28000 as a salary, that too after working for 3 yrs of overhyped-underprivileged Group A Class I officer service? How on earth does this meagre amount qualify for a salary even? This is what I earned for the past two months. Sadly but truly it is 4000 less than what my Group C staff got this month. At one point I had an urge to borrow some from him in lieu of granting 8 extra leaves . 28K in 28 days of Feb. means  I managed to earn only 1000 Rs per day which gives me a feeling of having myself enrolled in MGNREGA rather than working as a Govt officer(Pl add ‘Overhyped’ every time I use this cuss word).
28K is a sum which can swing a Bollywood Maa’s  mood away from honest salaried Police officer Ravi to Bangla-Gaadi-Naukar -Chaakar owning criminal Vijay. 2015 is 40 yrs more than 1975. Presuming Ravi owned 1000 Rs per month then and adding an increment of Avg 1000 Rs per yr (considering in b/w pay commissions) he would have earned 41000 in Feb 2015, 13000 more than me.…